Aislinn and more

She is 4 months old now!

She rolls to her left all the time from her front to her back and sometimes from her back to her front. She has found her thumb and uses it in extreme situations. She crys a lot because I can't get to her quickly, because of situations with the other children. It breaks my heart, but I do continue to talk to her and tell her it's okay and I will pick her up in a minute. Especially in the car on days like this where I'm in it forever driving to pick up and drop off the boys. It is so hard on her. Next school year will be a lot better! But it is only almost February. LOL She still gets up one to two times a night, but is quickly back to sleep.

Teagan's biggest phrase is "One second!" on pretty much anything you need or want her to do. Some times I get "In a minute" as well! She cracks us up! She will grab my purse, fling it over her shoulder and SCREECH out her demands to the boys. She is so into the Disney Princesses as well, so we are going to do a that as her theme for her birthday. Still haven't decided where we will do her party, but I'm pretty set on here right now. When's she's three I would like to have her first official tea party with her friends. Our playgroup for her is still going strong. To the point that we are now refusing to split because we've been together for a year and half, and now any new additions are going to form their own group.  It just doesn't make sense to anyone to split up a group that's been together that long and have a really great bond. We are the only group in the last two years that have stayed together this long through our club! Right now we are 11 moms and I can't count children, but the news ones of the 11 just joined this week and agreed when the 12th joined they would split off. We are thinking another one will as well since she never ever comes or responds to anything we do except the shower that was thrown for her last October.... takes all kinds I guess.

Riordan is really into school and doesn't fight with me anymore on going. He's more of an 'okay' response when I say he has school the next day or on that day. His speech seems to be getting a lot more defined in the last week as well. We see our peditrician on Friday so I'm going to mention it to her and see what she thinks. If he needs to be working on it or not. Teagan is a lot clearer than him most days. He gives me the sweetest kisses now, both hands on my cheeks! I get a LOT of hugs too! It's so funny how he was breaking my heart only a month or so ago with no affection and now it's like he can't get enough! 

Caden. Caden is rocking it out everyday on Guitar Hero. He can play easy mode and can whip some booty. We have it for the Mac, which I'm addicted to as well, even though it technically is Mike's toy. We can play other people online and battle them out or play a co-op song! Or completely compete for best rocker! It's funny because Caden and I are constantly squabbling over who's turn it is! He's been having some digression on doing his center work and turning in his weekly homework. For two weeks straight he didn't turn it in on time, claiming he kept forgetting. Well I took away Guitar Hero. Sure enough the very next day he had it turned in. And now with Center work. On Friday's they have a table where they finish up work they didn't complete during the week. Caden has always completed it in the past. Seems he thinks he can complete it all on Friday and go straight to playing with the toy at the table after they are done. Well I nipped that too this week with taking away Guitar Hero. He got it back yesterday. We will see what he comes home with in his back pack on Friday too. He is too young to be getting this lazy already!

Mike takes the three older ones out for ice cream dates at our local Cold Stone Creamery. They love their daddy time!

Next week starts my dates with the boys. On Tuesday's Riordan and I will have a breakfast date before school and on Friday's Caden and I will have a lunch date! We actually had one last Friday. We went to Chili's and it was so much fun!

Aislinn is awake!! And she's crying so I need to go cuddle her ;-)

A busy week in our valley

Today Pres Bill Clinton is speaking at the ASU Gammage Theater.

All week is the FBR, golf tourny.

And Sunday is Superbowl! Talk about needing to stay close to home!

Mike is at the FBR today, all day. He and about 5 other reps he knows are sharing a tent and hosting their reps. It's on the famed 16th hole, a par 3, where a few years back the fans threw beer cans and such at Tiger Woods and he has refused to come back since. So Mike will be gone all day, actually he left at 5:30 for a breakfast meeting before hand, and most of the night.

Yesterday I signed up with a Personal Trainer! I am so tired of being so disgusted at myself when I see pictures and because I can't exercise with the zoo, which would motivate me to NOT eat that yummy mini mounds that turns into 8, or the mini kit kat, etc, I have opted to spend the money, make the time for me and get moving. I have small goals and milestones in mind so I don't fail.

Last year after having Teagan, I worked out in a small bootcamp training, with 4 other girls, twice a week and in 3 months I was down 3 sizes! So I'm hoping for better results because I will be training 3x a week. Monday and Wednesday nights and early Saturday morning. I really wish I could do 5 but I don't think I can find the time or keep away from my family that much. 

Soooo it's 9 mins from here, just a mile north of the hospital where I had Teagan, for those of you who know how close that is to home. My trainer, who I have yet to met, Joe, seems really nice. The owner does all the sales and selects your trainer for you dependant upon your goals. They have a quikfit station as well, where they preprogram a flash like drive for you and you can work out without a trainer. I'm so motivate! I start next Wednesday. I am going to try and get on my elliptical in the meantime so I'm not so sore come training days. I pray I'm not too sore!

Tomorrow is a day of beauty for me at Dolce, where I will get my roots fixed ;-) Candy is always so relaxing to be around. She has no drama in her life, compared to all the hairdressers I have been to and worked with. 

Tomorrow night is our first small group as well! I can't to further our continuing education in God and form some great relationships with friends that share our same beliefs. By the way, our Pastor Roger looks amazing! Talk about motivation! He has steadily been dropping weight since last fall! Where he once could not tuck a shirt in, he now is a suave gentleman dressing in his regular khaki's and button up shortsleeves and longsleeves, but he looks amazing! He went on like the Atkins diet, and it is really working for him. He just isn't eating high fatty meats. He says, "I put it on, so I need to take it off, not cheat and have gastric bypass surgery." This past weekend he had on new frames, very contemporary and he grew a goatee! Seriously, such motivation!

So today is my driving day for the boys. Our little neighbor Lauren comes over which will be really great for a break for me. I will most likely hit the grocery store for more milk, but it will be a nice getaway.

Ever feel like this

That your life could be a musical? LOL

Sometimes we are so busy, I feel myself singing what we need to do next to keep up my spirits.

This week being case in point, especially Tuesday/Thursday which are my driving days for the boys.

We had soccer practice, a meal to deliver, errands to run, birthday party to attend, etc. etc.

I know all my friends are busy like this, how do we keep up?!

How many times can you buy milk in a week? Us, at least 3 times and that's buying a gallon and a half at a time! These guys drink so much milk! We really should buy stock in organic milk industries, if it even exists, because we pay a pretty penny for it.

Last night I had dinner out with my friends Marcie, Christa, and Terri. It was such a great delightful night (hey you haven't used that word lately!). We went to Red, White, and Brew, where the toddies where going down swiftly and the garlic bread was perfect for just dinner ;-) But we did order meals and dessert, which dessert was not impressive at all. However, the overall company made the night. Thanks girls!! Let's do it again sooner than later this time! 

Caden had a soccer game this morning, will Aislinn, Teagan and I stayed behind to get the house ready for carpet cleaning! The little things I always say! I can't wait for clean carpet so Aislinn can roll where she'd like ;-)

R.I.P

Heath Ledger

Still waiting on results from tests yesterday and life is still the same here in that boat...

Michelle finally was able to get our Santa pics from our brunch with Santa at Seville over a month ago! She persevered and got a cd with all the pics on it and sent it to us. Thank you so much Michelle!

So here we were at Seville, considering how upset Teagan was you can't really tell. Mike had literally just walked in the door, so being that he was thrown in the pic, he looks great ;-)

Had a dinner with the feather's last night and Rena was with us! We ate at Sushi Eye-In-Motion, a new restrauant here in downtown Chandler. The food was absolutely outstanding!

We had so much fun, as always, and shared quite a few tears to have Rena back with us. She looks amazing considering that battle she just had. Next month we get to celebrate her and Penny's birthday! Can't wait!

As always getting out with girlfriends lately is amazing for my soul. I was home by 10:30, but laid in bed till 8! I wasn't really completely asleep, but it was restful none the less.

Next month I'm going to start taking Riordan out for breakfast on Tuesday's before school. I've been wanting to do a date with him and it will be perfect timing. We pick up Megan on Tuesday's too and she is not far away regardless of where we eat. We just got a Good Egg next to my favorite place, AJ's, and I have always wanted to try it! He's pretty excited about our dates too. He will say, Teagie not going? I say no just me and you. Aislinn not going? No just me and you. Caden go to school and Daddy go to work? Yep, just me and you! YAY!

Tonite I'm dropping off a meal at my friend Jennifer's home. She just had her second baby a week ago last Wednesday. Our neighbor Lauren, who is 13 1/2, is going to be coming over Tues/Thurs for 2 hours so I can do my groceries/errands. I will take Aislinn with me, but she's the easiest one right now and mostly sleeps on car rides. We will also hit Target to get a birthday gift for our friend John who is turning THREE!! His party is at the park on Thursday, which I will bring Lauren with me so I can enjoy it instead of running all over the park. Boy am I getting old LOL.

It's also Caden's teacher's birthday on Thursday, so I'm going to pick up a little personal cake for her from the class, so hopefully her and Mrs. H can enjoy it during their lunch break! I found out it was her birthday last Friday, in an offhand conversation while I was in the class volunteering. I let our room mom's know and so they came up with a clever and sweet idea for the children to make personalized birthday cards for her scrapbook. I wonder what we will do.. will have to find some cute stuff to do at Target.

This week is full of fun stuff! Busy busy as always and just trying to keep my mind off my pain.

Kristi and I are going to go back to Sushi Eye-In-Motion again Thursday, we loved it so much. Can't get the tempura battered rolls off our taste buds! Oh so reminds me of home how my RuSan's would do them!

We are getting plugged in more at church beginning February 1st! Every other Friday we will be meeting in a small group. Great thing is we can bring the children and they can play with their friends from church. I am so excited to begin this. It's been a long time coming. We have always put it off with doing it because of how sick I was with Aislinn and then not know how her first few months would be. Now we are ready more than ever and it's perfect timing. Thank you Jeff for getting it off the ground!

Alright off to get ready to run errands and such!

still have to post Caden's birthday pics! Shoot, will try and do that this week!

Well that wasn't the problem

I'm sitting here listening to the hum of all things that wash, go.

Mike took Caden, Riordan, and Teagan to Caden's first soccer game of the season.

It is cold. It's supposedly 37 degrees cold, but the car is registering lower.

They are all three bundled up in their winter coats we got in hopes to make it to the mountains sometime this winter to see snow.

Aislinn is fast asleep in her bouncy.

I'm exhausted as always. I went to bed early and had decent sleep but feel like I got about 4 hours.

I'm in pain, still.

Apparently I don't have a yeast issue according to the NP at my OB practice yesterday morning at 7 am.

She doesn't know, though, what is wrong, and can only come up with an abscess issue since I have had mastitis 4 times in 3  1/2 months, but it was never the same side or area that I have gotten it.

Everything appears healthy. So why I'm I in such miserable pain when I nurse and feel pain when I'm not. I have no other symptoms. No clogged duct, no redness, no fever, but just exhaustion. Which honestly is now scaring me a bit.

She ordered an U/S and then after I was getting my order she added a complete CBC. 

I am scheduled at Mercy-Gilbert at 8 am on Monday.

I asked her if the pain isn't gone, is there a timeline to look at and what do I do?

She said let's just do the U/S first before we start thinking what's next.

So I should know something by the middle-end of next week.

Tonite, Mike and I have a date to Fleming's where I will indulge in my Filet Oscar Styled, Peppercorn, Parm Potatoes, Shrimp Cocktail, and some delicious wine and of course the Chocolate Lava Cake.

I am also going to try a Cognac. I have always wanted to become a connoisseur of sorts on it and so tonite is the first of many I hope to come! Hopefully Mike will join me in having one as well.

I will let the blog know as soon as I know something on results. I really hope it's just nothing and the pain will go away soon. Today has been 8 days with it.

The best Doc ever!

That's our pediatrician!

She called me this morning before 8. Said she saw we talked to Neve, her NP yesterday and wanted to see how we were doing. I told her I'm still in excruciating pain.

She said, "Well how about you come in, we will treat you both, and I will give YOU a script for Diflucan." She's amazing!

She takes such good care of all of us! I don't know what I would have done without her and not go to two different doctors to be treated!! I just love her!!

We made it to play group too, a little late! Aislinn had pooped out her clothes at the doc's office and I didn't have an extra change of clothes. Riordan lent me his jacket to drape on her. I didn't even have a blanket, because we tore out of here so fast! Riordan had to go potty when we got there too! LOL I threw clothes on all of us, but Aislinn and didn't brush teeth. Yikes still haven't now that I think of it! Quickly stopped by home to pick up clothes for Aislinn and off to Mindy's house we made it. And then amazing Kristi said she'd pick up the boys from school! I was a bit spazzed when I got there and I could tell I was headed for a funk, so good thing I went to see my friends to get out of it ;-) Even though I'm extremely sleep deprived once again, I am having a great day because of my girls! If only we could get together everyday!

Caden has his first soccer practice of the season tonite. In our hood too, so convenient! First game is this Saturday and goes for 6 weeks. We have decided that he can make his decision on what he wants to play. Riordan still isn't ready to play even though he is of age now. He's more a fan/bystander than a player still.

Mike should be home any minute. So nice he's home early! I need to go work on laundry. My girls came today and as always they rocked!!

By the way, HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY GRAMMY!!!

And mom, WELCOME HOME from Cabo!!

And more crap

Yep, as if I couldn't get anything else, it seems that Aislinn has thrush so if anyone out there knows what that means for me, you get an A++, so not to go into too many details.

Just know I literally cry, tears, when I nurse her right now. Thankfully our pediatrician called in a script for her and told me my over the counter meds to get. If there is still pain on Tuesday, we go in for gengoviolet treatments twice in three days to get rid of it.

Most likely occurred because of her breathing treatments.

I slept, well tried to sleep until 10 ish today, but the kids were playing hard and having fun so it was one of those light sleeps. 

Caden came to our bed early, so I was awake for awhile, then Riordan came in, wet.

We went to his room, changed his clothes and pull ups, and laid down in Caden's bed. I said I deal with his bed in the morning. Well he decides after an hour that he wants to be in his bed. I explain it's wet. He says it's not. So I feel. It's not.

So he lays down, makes me lay in Caden's bed. After I feel he's asleep, I go to my bed, check the clock it's now 2:30 am. I lay down, Aislinn wakes up.

Figures right? So after nursing, I lay in pain for what seems like an hour and finally does off.

Where is the light?

I have a MNO on Wednesday. Bunco. I pray I get to go!

We have playgroup tomorrow morning too.. gonna try our best.

New post that was drafted on the 8th, so scroll down to see it ;-)

Aislinn!

Rolled over today, not once but three times from her back to her front! 

She was so proud of herself too! She had woken up this morning trying to get up 

on her side, in the bed, so I brought her to the floor and she began to show off for the whole family!

What a fun stepping stone! I can't wait for more laughter from her. Right now it's one chuckle at a time.

We had the Tripp's over last minute for pizza and drinks in a celebatory dinner for Mike going through with his procedure!! Yay Mike!! Although I think going with Jeff to get the pizzas, going inside and sitting at the bar was not the best thing for you!

Oopsies

Glad I reread the packet, no advil no NSAIDS actually, so he will get tylenol but not together with hydrocodone !

I have TONS of Tylenol! Yippee drive thru here I come LOL.

And it's done

Mike has made it through his minor outpatient surgery.

He said he would have been better off, had a valium been available before hand, because the anxiety far outweighed the 8 min procedure by ten folds.

He was  prescribed an antibiotic that I will go get along with Advil for anti inflammation.

Also, I gave him one of my Loratabs AKA Hydrocodone for his discomfort and a ziploc of peas (thanks for that tip Christa, instead of the whole bag).

He's laying in bed watching his 'talk' TV.

Kate has the 3 olders at the park. 

Aislinn is playing in her bouncy.

I just enjoyed a peaceful bowl of soup, half sandwich, and a chocolate chip cookie from Paradise Bakery. Umm yeah, think I went over my points for the day already LOL Oh well, I deserved it ;)

The proof is in the pudding

I guess that's how the saying goes?

Because I have mastitis for the fourth time in 3 1/2 months.

Proof that my body is exhausted and proof that my self diagnosis of post partum depression.

I got both with Teagan at 5 months post partum was right on.

I remember seeing my new PCP a month ago and he said post partum typically ran from 3-6 months. But of course could happen at anytime in the first year.

FOUR times??!!! This is crazy!! Talk about my absolute frustration too.

I had to cancel my date with Kristi and Marcie last night. We were going to the mall and to Kona for dinner. I had been looking forward to it for weeks!

So instead I got to sit in bed, I couldn't sleep, go figure. I was in such and still am in such horrific pain.

Our sitter will be here at 9:30 to take Mike in for his procedure today!

Hopefully I get better fast so I don't go 'down' while Mike is 'down'.

Please pray for both of us today!

I 'called in' to work already at church on Sunday. My sweet Sharon is so supportive! I'm not even sure at this point we will to church.. just taking the day hour by hour and getting as much rest as possible, which ain't a lot as you know with four children 5 and under.

Riordan and some this and that

Riordan. Hasn't wanted to give kisses or hugs or cuddles, unless he's sick, for over 6 months now. It at first hurt my feelings, but not wanting to force him, I would just kiss the top of his head every chance I got. Then the last month, because I refuse to give up, I could convince him to kiss me on the cheek and just at the right moment I would turn my head and he would give me an accidental kiss. It will get us both laughing! He won't give Mike kisses either, so I kinda feel okay knowing that it isn't just me.
Well since I have been back from Atlanta, he has all of sudden given me kisses anytime I ask for them. All last year when I would kiss him, he would 'wipe them off'. I would pout and he would laugh. Stinker. He wipes these new ones off, I pout, and then he kisses me again. I'm loving this new phase of kisses again!
In the meantime since I have been home, he has a been a bit interesting? I'm not sure what word I'm looking for. On Monday, he got very angry with Teagan, not sure why this time, and threw his water cup across the room and then began to cry hysterically because he knew he shouldn't have done it. He got a time out and had to clean it up.
But today, takes the cake. He has written on walls mutiple times with sharpies, crayons, pens, pencils, but today he wrote with PEE! I don't know what he had going on in his head, but the wall and the floor where soaked with pee and he said it was because 'he couldn't do it'. I think he meant that he couldn't make it to the bathroom in time. But why he pulled down his pants when he wasn't in the bathroom is beyond me.
As long as he keeps givin me kisses, I won't complain to much. He even wanted me to cuddle with him tonite and didn't want me to leave his bed. Maybe I should out of town more often ;-) Yeah, not anytime soon for sure.

So some great news. The school that Caden attended before Kindersteps, is back up and running! My friend Angela has decided to go back to it and Riordan will go there next school year for three days a week for three hours! Such great news. She and Tracy were both great!! Caden is so much more advanced than other students in his class because of their attention to academics. Riordan is lacking that now in his current school. Where I do like his teacher right now, I'm just not sold on this zoo phonics program. Although Riordan apparently really gets the concept and likes it a lot, I just feel I'm sending him to daycare instead of a school. It's great through and through for sure, for being away from mommy and socialization, not to mention getting to see his girlfriends, Catie and Megan!

Caden called me from school today about an hour before it was over. He was crying and said he missed me very much. I know he's had a hard time with not seeing daddy much this week because of our trip and daddy's early and late working. I asked him if he was okay to stay till school was over, he said yes.

When I made it to school, he was holding Ms. Hansen's hand (I just love her!), and watching his friends play on the playground. SO not like him! When we got in the car he was lathargic leaning up against the side and eyes closed. We dropped our friend Caden at home and put our boy to bed. I gave him Tylenol and soon after he was back up and wanting to play. He definitely has a fever, in fact tonite for bedtime he was on fire and wouldn't take Tylenol again. So we will see tomorrow if he has a fever still. If so, I will be taking him in and getting a strep test done on him. And pray he doesn't start throwing up tonite. He said his throat and tummy hurt a little bit. He's so pale!

Teagan has been having issues with bedtime. She is absolutely hysterical the last two nights, saying she's scared. Even if we leave the door cracked she's just beyond herself. She stayed up last night with me until Mike got home at 10 and he put her to bed. Aislinn was a handful so I couldn't put her down to work with Teagan in her room. Tonight, Teagan was so upset she got sick. It brings back vivid memories of Caden doing this exact thing when he was 15 months old. He would be fine for naps in his crib, as is she, but then would refuse to go to bed in his bed. We got her back down at 9 tonight.

We have been trying to get out to buy a crib for Aislinn, because she keeps me up all night in our room now, attributing to my exhaustion, but if Teagan continues like this it may be time to get her a big girl bed, thus us not needing a new crib. We agreed to give it a week and see. We have a toddler bed for Teagan already set up in her room, but she wants nothing to do with it. When we ask her if she wants a big girl bed like Riordan and Caden she says yes. In fact, usually gets upset when we do bedtime because she likes laying in their bed and doesn't want to leave their room. I even asked her if she wanted Aislinn to start sleeping in her room, but she said no to that one. So I don't know if the appeal of the boys room is that they are in there or that the bed is bigger. Thankfully, she still sleeps through the night. When she is hysterical it's within 10 mins. I also thought of skipping her naps to see if she would fall asleep faster. She only naps for 1 1/2 hours tops now. A lot of options to explore this week. But I would be happier if she just stayed in her crib and got Aislinn a new one to go in the guest room till she sleeps more through the night.

Tomorrow Riordan has school as well. And tomorrow night I have a date with Kristi and Marcie to go to the mall and eat some sushi at Kona! I can not wait. I definitely need the girl time. A good mood elevator for me.
Speaking of, it never fails that talking/blogging can make me feel better. Since my admittal to my depression I was trying to ignore, I'm feeling a bit better and not quite so exhausted! So strange how that works out. Still need to get on my elliptical. Trying to do well on my points for WW. Got my scale yesterday so I can finally really track my weight weekly. It's a pretty cool scale, it gives every equation you can think of. BMI, Bone weight, muscle weight, water %, Metabolic age, Visceral number, Physique classification and so much more! I hate what I see, but like what it does. I found some pictures of me, on my visit back home, from when I was 18, so those are going on my fridge. Not that I will ever get my 18 year old body back, but I definitely don't want this 34 year old body anymore!

Our First Annual Feather's Christmas Dinner

The Feather's 

From top left to right: Michelle, me, Heather C. Amy, Liz, Monica

From bottom left to right: Marcie, Penny, Kristi, Steph

Not pictured Rena .. miss you!

Shelley came out to play this night! ;-)

Me and Marcie (Lord I am huge!)

Penny and Heather C.

Our two expecting  mommies! Kristi and Steph

I have a group of girlfriends that we call ourselves the Feather's. Steph Jones (expecting in Aug 2008!)came up with the phrase, because we just go with the flow, like feather's. Since the beginning of 2007 we have been getting together for each of our birthday's and having dinner at either Sautee' or other favorites. These girls carried me through the rough days of my pregnancy with Aislinn, we have cared, prayed, and made meals for Rena and her family (she's not pictured and is our missing Feather right now, the one who is recovering from Leukemia), we made meals for Kristi (expecting in March 2008) when she was having a rough time like I did with the beginning of her pregnancy, and so much more I just can't think of right now!

So this was our first annual Christmas Gift Exchange. We had dinner at Sautee' and then moved outside to open our gifts next to the fire. Heather C. drew my name and she gave me a beautiful basket filled with mini cokes, a bottle of Jack, and a key chain from Coach (she went way over our $25 limit !!) I drew Penny and got her an Under Armour hat and water bottle. She has just begun personal training and is really doing great!!

We don't have an more birthdays coming up, so we will have to find a reason to get out again! We were thinking Valentine's day?!

We did all go out together for New Year's Eve, to surprise surprise, Sautee'.  Mike and I didn't get to stay out the whole night. Aislinn woke up at 10:30ish and since she won't take a bottle I had to come home to nurse her. I spent the New Year ringing in with Aislinn on my lap, Caden at my side, watching Dick Clark, and Mike at his computer. LOL Happy New Year!

Updates what we've done since Christmas!

Well first we had a glorious visit from my sister and her son from the 26th-30th of December!

It was such a good time! I wish we could have gotten out more, but with Aislinn's cold, which turned out to be RSV, we couldn't do much of anything.

We did take the boys and our neighbors children to go see Alvin and the Chipmunks. IT was packed, but we got seats on the no so stadium level and the little boys boosters to watch it. We made it through the entire movie without a potty break! It was a nice break for the day.

So back to Aislinn, even though her RSV test on Christmas Eve's visit to the ER was negative, when I took her to her follow up allergy appointment and follow up for the ER visit two days later, both doctor's immediately said that's RSV! before we even began reviewing anything!

But it's like the common cold, the only reason for admittance to the hospital is low oxygen levels and dehydration. We were close to dehydration, but the treatments allowed her to finally keep down her feedings. She came off of treatments 7 days later. SO her blood work was all negative for food panels. We have no idea why she had the allergic reaction she did, but will follow up in 6 months if she gets another RSV cough. Being that asthma does run in our immediate family, she is at risk for getting it. By the way, I officially declare Caden asthma free. No episodes in over a year! He has definitely out grown it! ;-) So and her follow up went well too with Dr. Sudha. We still have to suction out her nose, but that horrible cough is gone! I wasn't sure we'd make it to GA with having it. Didn't want to expose her to more viruses if she wasn't well yet. Last Wednesday we had her PT consult for tortecollis. The PT said no therapy! She did see the lean to the left, but since I noticed it I began therapy that I learned from Riordan on her. She said apparently that has really made a huge difference and the flat spot she had on her head is even rounded out already! (no wonder I'm so tired with all these doctor's visits!)

Riordan. I thought I may have to take him in to see a speech therapist. He doesn't enuciate his words at all, at least I thought. That is until I got home and today I can hear him so clearly and his vocabulary has increased significantly as well! So I will still keep an eye on him. I know that I have to remember that because he had tortecollis so severely that everything from speech to motor skills can and will be signicficantly delayed. He goes back to school on Tuesday and doesn't want to go ;-)

Teagan. She's about to pass Riordan by with her speech. She's a sponge. She's a diva, the boss, and still the prettiest almost 2 year old princess! TWO in March! I can't believe it! She does everything you ask of her, and more. She love baked goods too just like mommy!

Caden. What more can I say?! He's amazing. He's 5 and very proud to be five. He's an amazing helper for me at home. Wants to help most of the time, and is so smart. My dad commented on how well he can run a computer and said he could learn many things from Caden on it. He's still my cuddle bug, still sleeps in our bed if we let him, and missed his daddy SO MUCH on our trip. Thinks plane trips are boring now and not scared of them like July. I don't blame him on the boring part. Our DVD player died coming home, I thought it was fully charged and only lasted 2 hours.

Caden, Riordan, and Teagan fight ALL the time. They hit, pinch, bite and scream at each other. But in a seconds notice they share, hug, and kiss each other. I constantly remind them to a) work it out and b) that when they hurt each other to first say sorry c) this is your only brother/sister you have for the rest of your life, you love and cherish them forever until you die! (Until we die mommy? UNTIL YOU DIE!) ;-)

How Aislinn is going to fit into the three musketeers will be comical I'm sure. She is quite an angel though and is the apple of all three of her siblings eye's. She will surely run the zoo. 

And last but certainly not least, we had a 2 month visit from Grammy and Papa. The first couple of weeks Grammy was here without Papa, so she divided her time between the two Malloy households. She was so wonderful at helping me with everyday chores and most importantly played every single game the children wanted to play and willingly!

When Papa got here the moved on to a house in Surprise (it was a great opportunity!), so visits weren't as many as we had hoped or liked to have had. But the visits we did have, were wonderful and amazing! Everyday after they left back for the west side, I would be asked every 5 mins when they were coming back. 

They left for wintery Boston the day before we left for Atlanta. 

They said they had such a great time and enjoyed their time that they would do it again next year! How great!!

I pray you had good travels and uneventful at that! 

We can't wait for you to come back! Next year, we hope we can see you A LOT more!!

Okay now that I feel significantly well in updating, I am going to go play with the kiddos before my girls make it to clean my dirty abode.

Confessions of a mom of four

I'm exhausted, beyond it more than I ever have been in my entire life. 

More than I ever have been after having a baby that first week.

Definitely on the path of post-partum depression, but the early stages. Thankfully I have been through this a couple of times so I know the subliminal signs of it and can catch it early before I start neglecting my children. I know that this too shall pass, but there is no light at the end of the tunnel for me right now. I feel like I'm in a state of zombieness. It's like a mediciney head type feeling where my head isn't connected to my body anymore and I just float through motions that have been a habit as a mom for 5 years. I don't want to get out of bed, yet I force myself to. I don't want to keep up with chores for the house, yet I force myself to. 

I could fall asleep at the wheel. If I get a full nights rest (which is extremely rare), I feel like it's 3 hours and if I get 3 hours I feel like it's 3o mins. I rage and then I'm stoic. Huge mood swings.

 I feel like my immediate family should just understand it and deal with it, but that's not fair. I need to deal with it first. Stop being in denial and thinking it's something more wrong with me, than just plain ole depression again. I hate it! But I'm glad I recognize it. IT's not fair! I'm a mom of four, completely no time for myself, I'm wasted by 5 pm and not in the alcohol sense (I wish) I can barely drink two glasses of wine! So now I must make time, I don't know how, but Mike is ready and willing to do what it takes to get me back to the wife and mom I like to be.

My first step is exercise, since that is what helped me with both Riordan and Teagan. Riordan I should have gone on meds, but then I got pregnant with Teagan so those pregnant hormones helped and somewhat hurt too! LOL. Mike is getting a vasectomy on Friday (HURRAYY!) so soon I won't have to stress about getting pregnant again.

So on the very rainy Monday, I confess:

Kelly I forgot your birthday on Friday! I am so sorry you have had a helluva end of the year and I'm sure that didn't help! I pray that you had birthday cake though, it really helps to eat something yummy I have found.

ANY one else I forgot, please forgive me! AND Happy Birthday!

I started Weight Watchers last Monday and did well till I got on the plane to Georgia. I cut back on all this chocolate that made me happy and found I was even MORE tired and MORE cranky. But I did feel better cutting out my cokes and Starbucks. So back to brownies I go, and trying Diet Dr. Pepper for some caffeine. I have no clue what my starting weight is or what I'm at now, still waiting on my scale to arrive via UPS from Target!

I have been extremely out of touch with a lot of friends a) it's impossible to talk on the phone b) I don't want to bring you down on how hard it really is with having 4 so close in age c) I don't know what's going out in the world today expect for politics every now and again d) I'm tired of holding my head up high and acting like everything is perfectly fine and doable and great and wonderful and and and.. get my point? 

I confess that I'm taking time out for myself and I may not be the always thoughtful, helpful person I have come to be known for in the past. But this will pass soon I pray and with exercise, Aislinn getting older and hopefully sleeping through the night (she won't take a bottle either) I can come back to me, whoever she may be. 

Because quite frankly I don't know who she is anymore when I look in the mirror after having 4 children in less than 5 years. She is tired, has dark circles for the first time in her life, the biggest she has ever been after having a baby and didn't gain the weight she did with the previous three, and that sparkle in her eye she once could see isn't there anymore.

I am thankful that my husband gets it and understands it. I am thankful that I have my girls coming once a week now instead of every other. Without them, our house would be in shambles for sure. Now just to keep up with laundry!!

I am thankful for my friends who get it and don't need an explanation because they see me all the time and help any which way they can. I am thankful for my friends who haven't seen me, but get it now ;-)

I pray for my children for the things I have said, well wait, screamed at them, my patience is beyond worn thin and I'm hanging by a thread. I give them all love, hugs, and kisses as much as I can to try and replace any hurt I may have caused them. I will not let them go to bed without a smile on their face, I should take my own advice.

I just got back from Atlanta visiting my parents and my sisters and their families. I'm just as worn out as when I left. I didn't sleep well and I didn't get to bathe the two days I was there. I didn't have the comforts of home for Aislinn that allowed me to do this. No extra hands to hold her when it was bath time and when we did get home all Caden and I wanted to do was sleep. But not Aislinn she would stay awake till past midnight both nights, have her regular middle of the night feedings, and then Caden would get up at 6:30 am.

She did however do amazingly  well on the plane. She slept the ENTIRE way back home last night. She slept 2 hours and 15 mins out there and it's a 3 1/2 hour flight. Caden rocked as a traveler as well. I'm so thankful for him and his grown up ways. Yet I still want to make sure he has fun and is goofy like a 5 year old should be. He's just so intuitive, it blows my mind.

Our visit with my family was so fun and precious and lots of great memories. My visit with Natalie was wonderful too. I wish I had more time to see other friends, but I just couldn't will it. 

My body is ready to crash at a moments notice, but I will myself to go on. And pray this time goes by faster than a blink of an eye. The depressive state, not my children's childhood years.