It won't be a surprise

If Riordan grows up to be our nature loving, guitar playing, clothing optional boy.
He absolutely is in love with his guitar and anytime there is someone on tv playing one,
he immediatley grabs his and mimics what he sees. I'm really thinking of enrolling him in lessons before
he turns three. He can hold the guitar correctly and can strum it pretty well!
His guitar accidentally got broken, so he uses Caden's who never seems to mind, even though he demanded one since
Riordan got on for Christmas. So I guess it was best we had it as a back up....

Turning a corner

Well I can't believe it. I kept my fingers crossed, but I'm on the third day of being out of my bed without having to run for the bathroom! I feel it's safe to say that I have turned a corner! My first clue on feeling well was I wanted to clean the house on Monday, but let's not get too crazy yet right?
I don't know if it's the meds since they didn't give me any relief the first 3 days of taking them and maybe it's both a combo of me and the meds, but hey I'm not complaining. I haven't stopped taking them and will finish them out.
I'm definitely not 100% either, but it is a glorious thing to be able to sit on the couch and enjoy my children! I still haven't left the house though. Baby steps.
I called Mike on Monday, my first day of being out of the bed, and when he answered I did my usually sounding horrible "hey" to him. So he always responds with "what can I do for you" and I said " I"M FEELING GREAT!!!!!" He started cracking up. I completely surprised him and I hope it made his day. He has been so amazing through our last 7 weeks. Being not only our provider, but our housekeeper, nanny, cook, and nurse. It was a tough time for him and I hope I can get him so free days soon.
Nights are still a bit tough for me, but still nothing like they were, but they are not good like my days.
I love being able to get the children their needs, like endless cups of milk and fruit and cookies!! Going outside and playing with them, rolling around on the ground and laughing with them.
I can't wait to be completely symptom free of pregnancy sickness, but for now I am enjoying what gift I have gotten of relief.

Change of plans

We are cancelling our trip back to Atlanta for April. It's been a tough 1st quarter financially for us, so it's not going to work out.
Hopefully in June though, Caden and I will be making it back for a quick weekend and a lot of pool time! We are looking at the last week in June, since we will be staying with my sister and she's out of town most likely until 17th.
We are so sad we can't do the trip, but we have to do some major restructing with almost 4 children in our nest :-)

have to edit

well when i posted i said mike wasn't in the intersection and at the white line.. i was talking about the line for where you are supposed to stop for the light, he was a little past the crosswalk line, so he was in the intersection.. had he still been any further, who knows what could happen..
my point?
JUST WAIT to turn left!!! One minute will positively impact your life, remember the party doesn't start until you get there.

How Helpless would you feel?

Mike and the boys took off today to run errands and Teagan is taking a nap while I'm resting, as always, in the bed.
The phone is ringing but it's in the other room, so I just stay put. It begins again. So I think, hmmm someone is trying to get in touch with us. I get to the phone, see that it's Mike but not in time.
He calls back again, and I pick up, noticing that the phone is just about dead and say "honey what's going on, the phone is about to die."
Pure panic took over my body as he said "we were in an accident, but we are all okay"
I begin to cry, it's amazing how emotions work. He said " I was waiting to turn left when some guy came up behind me, went around us to turn left and he got hit by oncoming traffic. A lot of cars are banged up, but he was spun out of control, I closed my eyes because we were about to get hit by him and by God's good graces we were just barely bumped by him when he came to a stop."
They are still at the intersection waiting for a police report. The man, turned 82 today, that caused the accident is being life flighted out to the hospital, a woman who was hit says her arm hurts, the boys were check out just for good measure by the paramedics and the firemen gave them stickers.
All the while, Teagan and I are here, with no car seat, so I can't go and check on them. I can't wait for them to get home and hold onto them so tightly.
And I have to say how proud I am of my husband and how my 'backseat' driving has actually paid off! Mike is notorious for pulling out into the intersection to turn left even if he has to wait. I constantly ask him not to do this, especially with the children in the car. I always say we are a sitting duck. This has been instilled in me since my dad taught me how to drive when I was 12!! It's better to wait for the green arrow if there is oncoming traffic, life is too precious.
Well guess what, he waited at the line. I can't begin to imagine what would have happened if he was in the intersection. So guess what else. Nagging does pay off ;-)
They just called and they are on their way to get an icecream. Caden is excited because the guys tire came off, and they can't believe they got to see a helicopter. I'm so glad that they are NOT traumatized, of course not hurt, by the whole ordeal. Mike said when they got hit, the boys didn't even notice, and Caden said "Daddy why aren't you going?'
This is the first, and I pray the last time they are ever in a car accident.

Teagie's stats and a big decision

Well Teagan is whopping 23 lbs and 30 inches long! She's now falling back in the 75th percentile.
She got three shots and Mike said she did really well, just cried a little. I hated not being able to go with her, but being that she loves her daddy so much it was a perfect outing I'm sure.
Caden went along as well. He said he wanted to watch her get the shots.
Riordan and I have been hangin on the couch. Playing a little on the computer. He was not happy at all that he didn't get to go with them, but quickly let it go once we played hide and seek with Max and Ruby online.


I made a big decision yesterday to go on the anti-nausea (really anti-vomiting) medication. This is about the time with Riordan that I gave in as well. After 5 sleepless nites and being ill countless times, I'm going to go on them. My head just pounds by the end of the day, I can't sleep, I can't keep Tylenol PM down, and I'm just plain being tortured at this point. So I pray that I can get some kind of relief. Mike is picking it up right now. The beautiful thing is, our prescription insurance is working for us. 12 pills for $30 dollars, for a pill that normally is $20-$50 a pill. Praise God! At this point I was willing to pay whatever it took just to get a break. So I will keep ya updated on how it works for me this time around.
I was on it for 4 weeks with Riordan and I hope that I don't have to be on it that long this time around.

I just had to post

It's been rough nights for me lately and just not but a few minutes ago BUT, I just had to post that Teagan said her very first word this morning!
BYE! Clear as a bell!
Mike was leaving for work this morning and saying bye to everyone and Teagan all of a sudden goes "bye, bye, bye" and was waving and walking/crawling him to the door. She has said it over 1,000 times today and cracks herself up when she does say it.
Today was the first time in weeks I was on my own with the children, but then my friend Marcie called and insisted on taking the boys to our MOMS Club Kid's Cooking Club and Teagan slept for almost 4 hours. Mike was home soon after and back to my bed I went. Tomorrow my friend Kelly is coming in the morning with her precious daughter Ava and Friday Mike is having a light day and is taking Teagan to her 1 year well appointment. So I should have stats Friday sometime on how big she has gotten!

A few pics of the first of this year

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO TEAGIE WEAGIE!!

In less than 45 minutes Teagan will be exactly one years old!!
It has absolutely flown by so fast!!
She is super cruising around the furniture, can stand for a few seconds on her own, does a somewhat of a gorilla crawl to get to where she wants to go with her left leg folded in front of her and right leg bent in front of her and uses her arms to go where she wants (boy is that left leg beat up!), she loves to feed herself with a fork, drink through a straw, talk in upside down Chinese for hours on end, she is definitely the boss of the boys and she frequently reminds them. In fact she has to be doing what they are doing which surely aggravates them. She will dance to the beat of any drum, clap, music, or song. She can shake her bootie!
She is just such a sweet little princess!! I can't wait to see what she comes up with next.
Happy Birthday to our little girl. We love you piglet!!
When I feel better we will have the best birthday party you could ever have for a 1 year old!

More tears but not mine

My mom left this morning. Caden is so broken hearted. He cried last night, saying he didn't want her to go and please make her stay here. Got the same thing this morning. It was so heartbreaking for me to watch! They really had a great time with her.
Riordan was sweet and just kept giving her hugs and kisses.
Tonite the boys and Mike go and pick up his parents. Caden is pretty excited about it and keeps asking when they are supposed to leave. He thinks it's "right now" every half hour.
Teagie's and I will be asleep when they get back in so we won't see them until the morning! Can't wait!

A lot of tears later

I'm still feeling horrible.
I thought I was coming out of the woods last week, because I had a couple of pretty good days, which means I was still very nauseous but I wasn't getting sick. Well it came back in full effect and worse by Saturday morning. I don't sleep well at night and when I do fall asleep I soon wake up to make a visit to the lavatory. Last night I was at my wits end, and I began to sob. I just want to play with the children, sit on the couch, clean up my house, get it back in order from when we had it painted. It's just a mess and completely cluttered and looking chaotic. Now some of you may be shocked by that statement, because clutter is normally my nature. But the last couple of years I have grown out of that, and like clean appearances, but with clutter tucked neatly away in it's respected place.
I just want to get out of bed. I have been in it for 3 weeks now, 5 weeks of feeling like complete crap, like having the flu or a hangover 24 hours a day. I'm sick and tired of being sick and tired.
My mom came on Saturday for what was supposed to be a semi vacation, a trip to Sedona. I gave her time to back out, but she was insistent to come and help, much needed help for I know Mike is at his wits end as well. She has been just great. The children are having a blast with her. I love hearing them all laugh from my bedroom. She has made sure that they are all fed, changed clothes/diapers/yucky poops, and napped/bathed/ whatever comes her way. She has been such a huge help and we appreciate it. I feel bad about being in the bed and not seeing her, so I tried to be out of it. Boy was that a dumb thing to do, which might be half the reason I'm getting so sick again and in the middle of the night.
She leaves on Wednesday morning. Mike's parents come Wednesday night for 10 days. I begged Mike to let them know how bad it was here and he did. Giving them the chance to reschedule. But I hear Grammy said, she's given me almost 4 grandchildren, so I would do anything for her. Not sure what was changed in translation, but it was a relief. Getting out of bed at this point is now terrifying, which just used to be the house.
My MOMS club has organized meals since last week, being delivered every other day. That has been a HUGE help. And we just feel so cared for!!
So Grammy if your reading this, I hope you are fully prepared for this ;-) It's a lot of work!! I just want to be sure you know what your getting yourself into!!! Let us know if you have changed your mind ;-)

Oh the hormones

Yesterday I had my follow up u/s. I totally forgot when I said I wasn't leaving the house this week, that I was. It's been over two weeks since I've stepped outside.
I didn't sleep at all the night before, just wondering what was going to happen if by chance he (yes he, as sick as I have been it has to be) still keeps measuring off 8 days. Doesn't my history matter? Riordan measured off by 7 days, they kept his date the same and he still was 10 lbs 4 oz and 23 1/2 inches long! It's not that I couldn't handle the delivery even though the back labor was the most excruciating experience. He just had such a rough time, going to NICU immediately for two breathing issues and then ends up with tortecollis and plagiocephly at 2 months, because there just wasn't enough room in my womb oddly enough ;-)
So I go in early and they were packed. I thought I'd be there for a while. But the u/s tech was ready for me. She is just such a great woman, I have always enjoyed my u/s with her as I did with Teagan. I start to explain all the reasons why it's so odd for me to measure off so much from my pregnancy test, implantation, internal u/s vs. external u/s, and Riordan. She was great and goes okay lets take a look. Baby has his head developing, arms with hands, and legs! And he is wiggling all over the place and she was having a time with him staying still long enough to capture a screen shot. LOL Oh that heart beating was so beautiful.
I really think that I would love this line of work, although I don't know how well I would handle seeing bad news on the screen.
So she starts shaking her head, keeps measuring over and over again and I see the numbers, 9 weeks 1 day, still 8 days off. I begin to cry. I told myself I wouldn't cry, but I did. It's been such a hard month, with being so sick and then just this utter confusion on why he is measuring so off. I just don't want my date changed because my body after three attempts does not know how to go into labor on it's own. Fourth time will most likely prove the same. I didn't want the date changed because at 41 weeks of Riordan's size, so I would be 39 weeks and a day to the new date but really 41 weeks at term with the same possibility. Caden was 12 days past due and I had to help for his labor to begin too! Thankfully with Teagan, my doctor didn't wait for me to go past due and at 39 weeks and 6 days she was still 8lbs 9 oz, she would have been a 9 lber for sure if we wait past my due date.
The tech goes just because he's measuring off doesn't mean you have to change the date.. I'm speechless. Why am I even here then? My doctor said they have to go by the measurement though! I run to the bathroom before I lose control of my emotions, get sick, and try to take deep breaths and calm down. The last thing I wanted was to freak out other patients and them thing there's something wrong with the baby. I come back out and she says for me to come back and let's do an internal scan to compare. She says he's getting too big to be on the screen this way, but still measures the same. So perplexing! I didn't cry this time, but I apologized for crying thanked her for taking the time and being so precise and measuring four and five times each way.
I go and sit in the back lobby to wait for the NP, Holly, to do my follow up. I see my doctor scurrying around. She's on call, in her scrubs and dealing with an emergency, plus looks a bit backed up with patients to see. I just stare at the screen on the wall watching all the different medical info scrolling through, when I felt someone standing next to me. It was my doctor! She puts her hand on my shoulder and says, " I know you are seeing Holly today, but I wanted to let you know that I took a look at your scans and even though they are matching up, we are going to stay on top of this and do a scan every 4 weeks to monitor the baby's growth." I lose it again. She's telling me not to worry and get so worked up about it, she's so right, and that the minute the baby started looking too big she would immediately induce.
I begin to feel like an idiot for being so upset which makes me more upset. I wanted thank her so much for taking time to even talk to me, I know how busy she is, but all I could do was take a deep breath. I did some how manage a your right I have gotten myself worked up over this and she has renewed my faith that I really have found the best care for myself and the baby. She's just such an amazing woman.
Honestly, I pray that this baby stays at an average size and that my body goes into labor on it's own. That would just be so perfect. I'm so thankful that God has blessed us again, and embarrassed that really in the end it's such a non-issue compared to what many women struggle with, not conceiving, birth defects, miscarriages, stillborns, etc.
So I met with Holly, and I really like her a lot. She has a great relaxing manner but still makes you feel like you are speaking with a professional. I have lost 2 pounds in 2 weeks, not surprising, and glad it wasn't more. We discussed my options with the sickness and I just really don't want to do the medication route, knowing the results, I feel better off just toughing it out. She told me to go to Urgent Care for hydration, that it would be better than the ER. The past two days I have been holding down a lot more, so my dizzyness has subsided and I'm feeling a lot more hydrated. I go back in 4 weeks and will be meeting with my doctor.
Last night I was so sick to my stomach and I had a headache. Oh and I felt good about my hydration since I cried a thousand and one tears. I still couldn't sleep though and Mike finally rubbed my back till I fell asleep. Poor Mike, he's so beat. I think he's making up meetings just to get out of the house as quick as possible ;-) I have his schedule !! LOL
My mom comes tomorrow through Wednesday to help us out, Kate is here right now playing with the children, and then next Wednesday Mike's parents come for 10 days. I hope by the end of it all that I'm back to normal. If this plays out like history I will wake up one day and it will just be gone, like poof, it never happened.

Oh and I forgot

I cancelled Teagan's 1st Birthday Party due to the fact I don't think everyone can fit in my bedroom to bring in her big day.

Pregnancy dreams and bedrest

I have spent almost most of the last 4 weeks in bed, and just about all of the last 2 of them completely.
I had a dream this morning of Valentine's day and Easter Candy. I was in a store and I had 10 minutes to choose all the handmade and dipped chocolate anything you can think of and candy. Funny thing was I couldn't make a decision. I would sit and contemplate each one I came across and try to determine how sick I would be from it.
They all looked so amazing and yummy. I walked out of the store with nothing. Caden and Riordan wanted to know what I got and were so upset I got nothing. Then my car wouldn't start with all my babies in it. I couldn't get a hold of Mike and 911 was busy.
This was truly a nightmare!! It's so weird how the subconcious works like that. I know the store part was how I have such a limited array of food that doesn't make me sick right now. I think letting down the children is how I feel right now because I literally can't do anything with them. I get visits to my bed and when I'm with them by myself we are on the couch watching TV.
Car not starting is my body out of whack and not getting a hold of Mike or 911 is that no one can do anything to help me. It's all a waiting game.
I'm surprised I don't have bedsores at this point. What I do have is body aches and pains from laying in the same spot for awhile or maybe my muscles are just atrophying (is that a word?) I have a headache every day, which is common for this point because of the placenta starting to take over and provide the nutrients for the baby. Plus I'm sure do to dehydration.
My lips are one big scab. My face and my head are like dandruff with the light peeling of skin all over everyday, all from dehydration and probably getting sick. I think my abs finally are used to exercise 2-3 times a day because they don't hurt anymore nor does my chest.
Mike, bless his heart, has finally realized what it's like to be a housewife. After four weeks he has finally finished all 20 loads of laundry. I'm afraid to tell him they will be back in just a couple of days, easily. He said a housewifes work is never done. He gets it. He realizes how impossible it is with 3 little ones to do it on your own.
Very few people understand the severity of how I feel and what movement does to me and how the bed saves me. It's complete torture to move around. I can't stand the smell of anything cooking in the kitchen, it sends me running to the bathroom. Soaps, perfumes, even the kids breath do me in. My own breath knocks me out because I can't use mint toothpaste without you know. We have been living off takeout for weeks now and I know that everyone is sick of it. Plus not to mention how frighteningly expensive it is.
I can't wait to feel better to get our house back in order, eat yes a milkshake I think I say that all the time now, and play with my children. I know Mike is counting the minutes as well.
This is going to be a tough week. Mike is in NM tomorrow all day and back late tomorrow night and Tuesday night he has a dinner meeting with his normal meetings all throughout the week.
Caden has school this week and that's the only time I will be leaving the house if I can't have someone take him/pick him up.

and now it's as bad as it gets (and hopefully not worse)

it's offical. i'm as sick as i was with Riordan... i can't keep food down now... this is so a boy!
today all i have wanted to do is cry, but I'm so dehydrated nothing comes out...
oh woe is me! i have put myself on complete bedrest, to only get out when necessary because when i do get out i'm sick...
today i had my babysitter come for an emergency help day and thankfully she was available..
i don't know what i will do tomorrow, but i can't wait for saturday because that means i can be in bed all day again..
please pray for me.. while i'm so thankful for my miracle, but body is suffering!!

Calgon anyone?

Well this past weekend for me was brutal. I made it to Caden's game, but not his team party. I was so sick all day and even in the middle of the night. I didn't make it to church for lack of sleep and stomach pains. Then I had a hair appointment that if I cancelled I would have to pay for the whole visit regardless. I was sick up until walking out the door. I don't know how I made it through. Came back home and back to bed.
Today was starting off as a great day! I feel so bad for my children not getting the best of me, so I decided to surprise them with pancakes! They were so excited! Riordan especially since he points to the Bisquick box all the time in the pantry and crys for them. They devoured them!! Riordan couldn't wait for them to be finished so he ate his next to me while I cooked and Caden had two big ones! I even enjoyed one ;-)
So later on, I was feeding Teagan and putting her down for a nap. I had been on the office computer for about 15 mins before that. I came into the living room and I couldn't believe my eyes. I just wanted to cry. Riordan had gotten the syrup bottle, that was up on the counter and out of reach I thought, and was pouring it all over the ottomans!!! He had already hit the carpet in about 6 different places! I was astonished! He had already gotten in trouble earlier for writing on the wall with a ball point pen!
I got the syrup bottle and sent both he and Caden to their room. Caden just sat there and watched t.v. without saying anything! When I asked him why, he said he didn't think it was wrong :( They stayed in their rooms till they fell asleep.
Mike cancelled his 2 o'clock and came home to clean up. I tried to get the syrup out of the carpet with water, but you can still see it. Looks like we will have to have it cleaned out... UGH! Oh and the smell while I was cleaning it was too much so my great day turned quickly into a bad one. I had to run and almost lost it before the bathroom.
So Mike brought me quesadillas and a caesar salad for lunch today... My muscles are so sore from the hard weekend, nothing tastes goods and it hurts to sit up right now.. poor me I know.
Teagan got hurt a little while ago playing outside with the boys... wait why the boys have freedom right now is one to ponder on... but anyway, Mike brought her to me, and NORMALLY she cuddles up to me and sucks her thumb. She cried harder and wanted her daddy back! She has NEVER done that before, so now I'm feeling even more guilty of not being the mom I normally am! But I'm happy for Mike because he's never had that with her before, and I know how nice it feels to comfort one of our children when they are hurt, scared, etc. But boy did that hurt my heart!! My little princess!!
Please pray that this is the last day of morning sickness for me!

Just a thought

If it's a boy, I have no clothes for 0-12 months. We gave them to a women's shelter last July that is specifically caring for pregnant women until their children are a few months old.
The rest of the clothes, my friend Marcie has and she's holding on to them ;-)
If it's a girl, all her clothes are at Kelly's house! Our previous sitter, but good friend of mine.
She too, is holding on to them...
I'm glad they are getting good use though, where ever they are!

Brr!

It is so cold this morning! 36 degrees right now in Chandler and I think there was frost on the cars.
I was supposed to host a playdate with my friends from MOPS but my body has decided other wise. I thought I was in the clear since I had such a bad day yesterday, but apparently not! The girls were so understanding... so now I am not commiting to anything until I'm not sick anymore.
I'm supposed to go to Beth Moore on Saturday with my friends Christa and Terri, but I just can't do it. To be away from laying down for over 6 hours and a close bathroom.... total nightmare. I barely made it through church last Sunday. So I'm sad to say I'm not going to be able to go and was looking forward to the day with them so much.
So today is just another down day for us, pj's will stay on, we will watch t.v., boys won't eat so well.
I just pray that I'm not this sick when our families come for their visits.

There's more

I just wasn't happy today with the changing of my date by a full 8 days, so I called my OB and she called me back.
I presented my side of how come I had all the signs of implantation, like I always recognized with my other three, of dropping in body temperature and cramps, at the normal time as opposed to what I was measuring at, why did all my other children who measured at 5 and 7 days off never have their date changed, and how could I possibly have a positive pregnancy test 7 days before I was considered to be 4 weeks according to their measurement, according to them I would have been 3 weeks exactly.... Scientifically, how was that possible for an at home test to show a positive result at less than 1 week fetal age?
I know I seem a bit nuerotic, but I KNOW MY body ESPECIALLY when it's pregnant. I KNEW I was pregnant before I was even late! and before I even took the test!
So she sighed a really big sigh and said " OK, come back in two weeks and let's measure again"
I let go of my built up stress and thanked her for listeing to me.
Now I just pray that baby does like his brother's and sister and catches up in the next two weeks and helps to prove what I know to be true. So if it's 7 days off do they leave my date to the orginial Oct 2nd instead of the new one Oct 10th?
Those will be my next set of questions, since she said they only change the date if the measurement begins at 8 days off.
I will sleep so much better tonite.. I will call in the morning to book my u/s... hey it's just like Kaiser days though, I'm going to get a lot of pics again ;-) This baby won't be "neglected" on u/s !

140 beats per minute!

We had our 1st appointment today! It went very well. Mike was able to come with me.
We did the normal stuff and my office has gotten so high tech, that they now have a portable u/s machine!
So my doctor goes, let's take a quick peek at the baby.
We were all looking and saw the baby and he/she's wonderful heartbeat, but it seemed there were possibly two babies!
She goes, I'm going to have the tech do an u/s on you as well.
Her u/s showed only one and the yolk sac seemed to have mimicked an exact shape of another baby. Mike had panicked for about 10 minutes, I was excited! How neat would that have been to have two babies growing inside of me!
The only thing I'm not happy with is they changed my due date by a whole week and a day! I told them that all my babies measured off by a week in the beginning and then by 20 weeks they were either on track or had surpassed it.
I told them to mark my word that I would be measuring 21 weeks or more at my 20 week u/s. My only concern is that of having a large baby with my history. My doctor assured me she wouldn't let that happen, and she did the same with Teagan which is why she was here by her due date and a whooping 8lbs 10 oz. If I had gone passed she surely would have be a 9 pounder. And it's not that I'm afraid of having a large baby, because it's not hard on me at all, it's just Riordan had such difficulty breathing, with his high rep rate after he was born, and I can't even count how many times I heard it was because he was so big.
I go back on Teagan's birthday to have my next appointment. I'm not changing my due date on my blog until my 20 week u/s and I see were we are. I of course want a mature baby, but fourth time around has shown me that history DOES repeat itself and my babies grow differently than the text book. I have pics that I will scan in later. I'm off to nap..
Oh by the way, I'm very ill today infact I believe my body is making up for not being ill yesterday! :-(